Which is stronger; your will or your want?
Is desire stronger than need?
Several years ago I owned a lift company.
As well as installing residential lifts we supplied and installed limited mobility access lifts such as Stairlifts and Platform Lifts. I experienced some very sad situations where people acted slower than they should have based on “Wants rather than needs".
I visited a couple where the wife desperately needed limited mobility access equipment to negotiate the stairs safely, but her husband had different priorities.
There were a few things he wanted to do first and thought, “When I have sorted this out we will do it then.” There is no need to rush.
A fortnight later, I had an emergency call from him asking how quickly I could have a stairlift installed.
Could I do it as fast as possible as his wife had just taken a major fall down the stairs and couldn’t come out of hospital until a stairlift was installed.
We organized the work and completed it very quickly but when I saw his wife she was black and blue from head to toe and had severe and painful arm injuries.
I also had a male client in a similar situation.
They had the money to put the lift in and he ordered it on the spot. However, his wife rang and cancelled the job two days later.
His wife wanted to lend the money to one of their grandchildren to buy a car. She wouldn’t allow him to spend it on the lift he desperately needed and so he spent the rest of his life trapped on the lower floor of his house.
A long while later, he actually called me and said he had spent 3 times the cost of the lift modifying the house for him to live downstairs and hated being there as he no longer could see his beautiful view.
Another time I was called out to someone's home who was the neighbor of someone I had done a quote for a year ago. He decided to sell and not put in a lift, but this turned out to be one of the funniest quotes I had ever done.
I actually hardly said a thing. This old neighbor explained everything about the lift to my new client. He told her “Selling up was the worst mistake I have ever made and I wish I had listened to Ian”.
He wished they could have a chance to turn back time and stay where they were.
He told me he had swapped his beautiful view to go and look at a brick wall and live in a dog box! And the view from his old place was spectacular!
There is a battle that is constantly going on for most people between what they NEED and WANT and sadly often what people want is the stronger influence of the two.
These are some tips to be aware of in your life to navigate between want and need:
- Instant Gratification can be a much stronger draw than Delayed Gratification.
So, be wise in making decisions quickly and add the “Power of a pause” between desire and response.
- Plan the goals you have in life so you are not trying to do too many things at once.
Staging or staggering your goals reduces pressure on your finances, time, and most importantly, your resources and stress levels.
- Keep a list of the goals you are aiming for in priority.
When you are tempted by a shiny new idea, evaluate it before you commit.
Measure Opportunity against Priority.
This may be a great thing for you to have or experience, it just may be a really bad time to do it.
- Elevate your focus on what you need to do next. Let the peripheral stay peripheral.
- Don’t over-commit with what you want so you can afford to stay committed to your needs.
- Don’t buy something that needs funding from things you are going to sell. Sell first.
Save the money you redeem from “Sold items” then you will know the exact amount you really have and what will be a reasonable commitment you can make from the true value of what you have raised in sale values and not the hoped-for value leaving you short and potentially overcommitted.
- You don’t need to be envious or compare yourself with anybody but yourself and what you can afford.
You will be rarely happy living someone else's life or the expectations they have for your life.
Decide for yourself and pursue your own goals.
- You don’t always have to lower your dreams to your finances. Sometimes you need to be creative in how you raise your finances to meet your dreams. However, a caveat here I would suggest is not to purchase shiny toys and depreciating non-essential assets with credit and loans but with savings and disciplined spending.
- Be generous but not stupid.
Commit yourself to give what you can;
- Sustainable Giving - From your budget. A decision you make to support something you believe in.
- Sacrificial Giving - Go without it so you can give to someone else's life. It may be even to support a charity, family member, friend, or a cause you believe in.
- Stupid Giving - spending money you don’t have or is not prioritized to pay for your responsibilities first.
- Planalife you want to live in and don’t just accumulate stuff. If you get lots of stuff you just get stuffed looking after it. So make sure you have a purpose.
The person with the most toys doesn’t win, they go broke looking after toys they rarely play with as they are too busy looking after toys or distractions.
Have a great week and remember to let your will have a win over your want so you live a life that is not just full, it is meaningful.
If you need some help just give me a call or an email.
At PLANALIFE we help people navigate the integration of a Business and Life plan that will dovetail with marriage and family to help our clients find the very best from a balanced life.
To achieve this, we have one focus; to see the whole person arrive where they want to be by discovering how they can proactively plan their life.
- Business owner/manager Coaching
- Executive Coaching
- Key Person Coaching
- Proactive Life Planning
- Seminars, on line training and webinars.
- Strategic Planning days
- Short Courses