Learn how to show appreciation and love

As we prepare to host our short course on the 10th May, How Can Your Relationship Survive Your Business, we wanted to talk today about the five love languages.

Finding the significant ways to let your partner feel loved and appreciated in their love language, not just in the way you feel loved, is one of the most important things you can learn. Most people love another person from the way they feel loved. This is because it is the love language they most understand. It is their “normal” for feeling loved or appreciated. However, our partner may often have a completely different love language to ours. 

If we never appreciate each other and only criticise rather than compliment, effort will soon lead to exhaustion. 

Gary Chapman, the Author of The 5 Love Languages has written a great book about the languages of appreciation applied to the workplace. One statistic from the book was 79% of business owners think staff leave due to a lack of fulfilment in their role or being offered a better role with more fulfilment, whereas 80% of staff leaving one place to immediately join another place, when interviewed, attributed leaving to a lack of appreciation in their role. If appreciation is a key to longevity and productivity in our staff, how much more important is appreciation in our relationship with our significant other? They feel they can't resign from their role but they may resign from your relationship.  

The five languages of love are easily discovered through an online quiz https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/couples-quiz/

1. Words of Affirmation 
   • These people like praise for their accomplishments
   • They thrive on encouragement
   • They like to be communicated to in positive messages
2. Quality Time
   • Reduce distractions to focus on them
   • Share experiences and significant moments together
   • Focused attention, long conversations, eye contact and never being annoyed when they interrupt you.
3. Acts of Service
   • Being aware of their workload and offering assistance without being asked
   • Random acts of kindness and thoughtfulness to show them they are front of your mind
   • Be ready to do it their way and complete what you start, so they don’t have to finish things off.
4. Gifts  
   • Giving something that is special for the receiver, not the giver.
   • Show you are in tune with their likes, dislikes and interests and you are being thoughtful when you surprise them with a gift they like.
   • Dining out or favourite meals in, flowers, chocolate, jewellery, items in line with their interests, toys, even giving someone time off or time out with no guilt attached.
5. Physical Touch [Partner/spouse related]
   1. Human contact appropriately timed, regularly and genuinely.
   2. Massages, holding hands, cuddling, affection and intimacy.
   3. When you reconnect after coming home from your days work, a kiss, a cuddle, or some personal attention.

I have met and know several people over my business career who have grown rich enough to afford their own divorce. I have met many others who have been trying to convince me that the crazy hours they are working are justified as they are doing it all for their family. Then they tell me they are unappreciated, disconnected and about to separate.

When I have these conversations with people I always take them back to the vows and commitment they made to their spouse. For better or ?????, richer or ?????, in ?????? and in health. Now you are in a season of difficulty you will find out if you are a good lover and a person of your word.

All, and I mean all, relationships have difficulties. Working together to sort it out is where maturity in a relationship is discovered.

We will have some great fun moving through this topic at our next short course: How Can Your Relationship Survive Your Business. This online session from 12-3:30pm on 10 May will provide you with some great tips for your relationship in business.

If you want to plan a life you want through a Business on Purpose, please give me a call and we can help you intentionally fashion a life you love living in.

Until next week… Ian