Part 2 – Why is it that people don’t know what they want?

Welcome to Part 2 in our discovery into 'Why people often don’t know what they want but tend to be sure about what it is they don’t want'.

If you haven’t caught up with last week's blog, Part 1, I would encourage you to go back and read it before continuing on as it will make more sense; or at least read the intro here.

Okay, the next three reasons people have difficulty in making decisions and being confident about what it is they do want rather than just knowing what they don’t want is...

Learning how to express what it is you want without Guilt, Anxiousness, Fear, or too much Consideration of the other person.

And also, ultimately not having done any research into why you want, what you want, and knowing why this choice would make your life better. 

Where we are today is a product of all the choices we have made in the past.

Where we will be in the future is a product of today's choices.

Avoiding making a choice doesn’t leave us free of consequences, it makes us captive to the consequences of other choices.


Learn to express what you want confidently and not arrogantly.


Learning how to express what you want is vital.

My wife read Thursday Thoughts last week and it taught her to be more confident.

We have just been away for three days and had to buy take away and every day she very confidently told me what she felt like. It was quite funny and we had lots of laughs.

Confidence is key to structuring your future your way.

Who we are, is often not what we think we are, it is an image projected from what we want other people to think we are.

Compliance, submission, capitulation, acceptance, and general agreement are not bad qualities, in and of themselves however, when your silence does not mean compliance you need to know how to express yourself rather than living with an internally juxtaposed comparative dilemma.


Learn how to negotiate and compromise with a 'Win-win' agreement. 


We come to a compromise through a compromise. So if the compromise doesn’t fit, you have to go back to the negotiation table.

When people make a compromise they are not happy to live with, they will soon begin to feel very uncomfortable with the decision and fairly soon with the person who lead them into the compromise that is bugging them.

When reaching a compromise it is best to say, “Let's try this for a week or two and see how it works for both of us”.

This way you prescript a conversation that may be necessary for the future if this compromise doesn't fit or work out.

You are not bound to compromise that doesn’t work because to are not meant to live life miserable.

I have witnessed marriage breakdowns, good people leaving great jobs, families disconnect and even parents leaving home to go and live 500 km away from their kids after too many babysitting duties because they have not been confident to negotiate terms and conditions through healthy compromise. 

Compromise is not a one-sided win. It is a 'Win-Win' and while not easy it is essential.


Learn how to define a start and finish point for when you will make a decision.  


There is an old proverb that says, “Procrastination is the thief of time”.

Bookend is the finishing point of making your decisions.  Give yourself time to think through consequences, alternatives, and researched options but make a decision to make a decision.

We need to often put more energy into effort than we do into excuses.  There is often a cost to making no decision that is more costly than making one.

The internal angst we live with will fuel dread, anxiety, sleeplessness, apprehension, and living on the edge.

So, reaching a decision and informing those around us of that decision is essential to healthy communication and in turn healthy relationships.


'Living in limbo' or avoiding making decisions drives those around you nuts!


Most frustration between people in all forms of our personal and professional relationships releases when people communicate respectfully and decisions are reached and a direction can be made.

Avoidance is an 'Ugly dance' that leaves us stepping on each other's feet.  Good dances need fluidity, grace, routine, connection, and synergy.  This all happens with lots of little decisions made well and keeping of performance beautiful. 

I believe that as we move through the 'Decision dance' of life if we make better decisions we learn how to make decisions better, quicker, and with more confidence.”

So start today and know more about what it is you want from your life rather than what you don’t want.

I hope the last two weeks have helped you think about how you can make better decisions.

Then you can Planalife you want to live in through a Business on Purpose.

Have a great week and I would love to read your feedback.

Cheers Ian.

Image of brick wall with 'yes' or 'no' words.


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