Part 1 – Why is it that people don’t know what they want?

Have you ever found in life that most people don’t know what they want, but can pretty soon figure out what it is they don’t want? 

I want to share with you in 'Thursday Thoughts' a portion of what I wrote in 'Sunday Sage' last Sunday. 

I recently had a conversation with my wife about what to have for dinner when she didn’t feel like cooking.

So I asked, “What takeaway do you feel like having tonight?”

Donna replied,” I don’t know, anything will be okay.” 

Now, if you have been married for more than 5 minutes you know this does not actually mean, anything is 'Okay!'

Me: “Would you like Pizza?”

Donna: ”No.”

“Hamburgers?" No.

"Fish and Chips?" No.

"Chinese?" Well maybe.

No commitment, but “Maybe” creates the detour to narrow down the choices. 

"Fried rice and honey chicken?" “I don’t know, you decide.”

Now at this point, most men know that this is not a green light to decide, it is an invitation to be more curious.

Because between the house and the restaurant, unless you made a telephone order, there is a whole other period of discussion that could have you coming home with Pizza because you passed the pizza shop first, got a whiff of pizza and this then changes the goalposts. 


Transfer this to the workplace...

So if we transfer this to the workplace then why is it that clients/customers and staff think they know what they want but when they receive it, it is not what they thought wanted?

Why is it that your staff may approach you for a pay rise and when you ask them, “What did you have in mind” they don’t know?

You may think about it for a while and you could possibly stretch their increase to 10% if some more KPIs are set and productivity increases.

When you return to the conversation with them and present your thoughts you discover they had a 20% increase in mind based on the current workload and what they are producing now!


The Decision Making Process

There are several factors involved in a decision-making process.

Due to our behaviour, motivation, and emotional intelligence combined with confidence and competence in negotiation, we Decide, Delay or Defer our decision-making process. 

If we are good at making decisions quickly it is because we have a high level of trust, a deep well of confidence, and the safety and security of resources to back our decisions.

We often also have a track record of good outcomes from our past decisions and actions.

If we have a fear of making a wrong decision we could have bent towards procrastination,  little trust, low confidence, and low resources to back our decisions.  

When someone is raised in an environment where most, if not all people around them delay action in fear of consequences and they tend to “Never make a decision today that could be left till tomorrow,” or they have an ungrounded fear of retribution for an erroneous choice. 

If you lack the confidence, skill, or ability to live with a certain choice you will normally delay your decisions. 


“Learning how to express what it is you want with confidence.” 

People in this category are generally not confident with any part of their life and are also often easily lead.

Because they defer decisions to others, they generally live life as passengers.

They will often link up with partners, people with dominant personalities, and friends who are confident and they play 'Follow the leader'.

They may be happy living this way but many who live this type of life have expressed to me they feel like they are being either 'Pushed or pulled through life.'

The reality is only they can change this by learning how to be confident in making decisions for themselves.  


Next week we will have a look at 3 more traits that are common in people who are generally afraid to make decisions to lead their own lives. 

I want to encourage you to “Planalife you want to live in through a Business on Purpose.”

If you have difficulty doing this but have the desire to take over the reins of your life again, please give me a call.

We have many tools that will help you understand yourself and why you do what you do and how you can change when you are ready, not just if you are ready.

Our DISCovery sessions are powerful awakenings in people's life.

After completing a DISCovery session I have seen people completely change their lives.

For the first time, they understand themselves and the world around them. 

Have a great week and take some time to consider...

Are you the driver, navigator, or passenger in your life?

I would love your feedback, thoughts, and comments… Ian

Image of word that says 'want'


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